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Howdy, New Readers! Thanks for reading Exiern!
Written by Scott T. Hicken with art by Antipus, the comic updates Mondays. Please check out the Archive to enjoy the earlier adventures of Typh and Peonie!
Exiern contains mature themes and is best for readers 18+.
Jealously? Sure your the last of your king but can’t you just go f!!k a horse or something?
Nice to see someone having a good time after all the s!!t that has gone down lately.
Apart from the obvious problem for unicorns in that’s always most people, more close to home what’s going to happen with everyone’s favourite barbarian if Typh ever wants a relationship with … well … anyone?
Typh’s also going to be aware of this dilemma so what possible things can be done? Stay celibate and keep the unicorn on your good side or … ?
Well if that’s the way it is, maybe this will all be sorted out when the unicorn next encounters Typh and can tell by whatever sense it uses to tell these things in the first place, say what it smells … or what it doesn’t smell as the case may be.
I also thought it might mean trouble for Tiff if Uni was mistaking identities. Though I’m sure they can sense virginity…it smells like watermelon and candy corn.
Maybe actually being in the middle of the deed in progress is like seeing a lit flare to a unicorn when looking at it. Both highly visible and painful to the eyes when looked at directly.
Actually now that I think about it, shouldn’t that unicorn be stabled with the other horses like they did in Neese instead of eating those expensively maintained gardens, which I’m sure were never intended as unicorn fodder.
Still want to know what Peony stepped in. Disintegrating metal? In what looked like a discarded bra? I’d be determined to get that s!!t off my foot before I’d be in the mood for anything else.
@rphb Now that isn’t very nice. A harlot would be charging for her services, Peonie just gives them away. S!!t or tramp would apply, but let’s not insult the working girls of the Grand Luminary Alliance!
Huh. I’ve been thinking The Unicorn was male. But in /2007/06/01/dragon-attack/ Tiff says, “Get out of here girl”. She’s either talking to herself, or to the unicorn. And since she isn’t, at that point, used to thinking of herself as a girl….
===
Incidentally, waaayyy back here /2005/09/24/bad-day-for-evil/ , Faden reads from his spell book that unicorns, being the embodiment of love and innocence, can block all “hostile magics” within their vicinity.
Two points: gosh, doesn’t that mean that Tiff’s transformation isn’t, since she can ride the unicorn without being transformed back? (Or, possibly, that the transformation isn’t “magic” in some sense.)
Second: Maybe the unicorn isn’t upset by Peonie’s behavior. Maybe she’s upset by Peonie’s lover–who may not be a lover at all, but some schemer using her to gain influence in the Court. And Uni can somehow sense that hostile magic is at work there.
My two speculations combined lead, of course, to Tiffany coming out of the armory and being met by an angry Unicorn whining and pawing the ground:
“What’s that, girl? You say Peonie’s in trouble? Has she fallen down the well–oh! Oh no! She’s having sex with some evildoer! Take me to her! We’ll save her!”
@Brandi
the sin is in the act of fornication itself, whether or not one charges for the act is irrelevant and if anything the professional have committed a lesser sin as she have a better excuse (for profit) instead of her just doing it because she enjoys to sin.
@50sRefugee, actually, the unicorn has repeatedly proven to be not overly fond of Peonie in the first place. For all we know it may just be a case of cattiness on the unicorn’s part. “Humph! That… hussy!”
Actually I was thinking that since it’s Typh’s steed, Typh’s the one responsible for parking it in the stables like how it was done in the north which seemingly passed without incident. So if anything happens, it may well turn out to be Typh’s fault for not doing so.
It’s nice to see Peonie getting some recreational relaxation exercise Finally.
The Unicorn has prejudices. No big deal IMHO.
I have prejudices.
I am prejudiced against censorship, data miners, data mining in general, unnecessary background scripts and Dial-up connections.
Although without the last one I wouldn’t be here to whine so …. that one I will suffer through.
Meanwhile … Scott … Please email me as I need to alert you to a problem with Patreon. (Or maybe it’s my dial-up connection.)
@capn – Based on our email exchanges I honestly believe it is an issue caused by your connection, but I have gone ahead and reached out to Patreon on your behalf! I hope they contact you soon!
@ 50srefugee…Tiff’s transformation was a result of White Magic, “which, as we all know, is completely harmless….unless you use ENOUGH of it!” *zap!* And Faden has/had a LOT of power to throw into any magic, even White. Therefore, the unicorn can’t nullify it, as the base magic itself is generally “good”. It’s kind of like someone going on a killing spree strangling people with gauze and bandages…nobody’s going to be up in arms trying to ban medical supplies. Or….something else that makes a better analogy.
As have I, @Shan, but that’s a digression. @Andor’s point was that no one would call for the destruction of materials usually considered harmless just because one inventive psychopath finds a way to turn the innocuous deadly. The closest real-world analogue I can think of is the Boston Strangler, who killed with stockings, neck ties, and belts.
I’ll just say that I wasn’t being serious and I was just making a joke and leave it at that as well as stating emphatically I’ve never ever killed someone inside or outside a hospital with medical supplies or equipment … well as far as I know.
YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!
Unicorns REALLY don’t like non virgins.
Jealously? Sure your the last of your king but can’t you just go f!!k a horse or something?
Nice to see someone having a good time after all the s!!t that has gone down lately.
I meant kind
@ H3xx
Apart from the obvious problem for unicorns in that’s always most people, more close to home what’s going to happen with everyone’s favourite barbarian if Typh ever wants a relationship with … well … anyone?
Typh’s also going to be aware of this dilemma so what possible things can be done? Stay celibate and keep the unicorn on your good side or … ?
Maybe the unicorn thinks that is Typh. It is looking down in the panel where Peonie is identifiable.
Well if that’s the way it is, maybe this will all be sorted out when the unicorn next encounters Typh and can tell by whatever sense it uses to tell these things in the first place, say what it smells … or what it doesn’t smell as the case may be.
I also thought it might mean trouble for Tiff if Uni was mistaking identities. Though I’m sure they can sense virginity…it smells like watermelon and candy corn.
Watermelon candy corn? EWW!
Uni already knows that P-cups is not a virgin, so… not really sure what this page is all about o_O
Maybe actually being in the middle of the deed in progress is like seeing a lit flare to a unicorn when looking at it. Both highly visible and painful to the eyes when looked at directly.
@ Bad Taiming
Your first version may have been less accurate but much funnier.
Perhaps the unicorn is just perturbed at having its relaxing evening meal disturbed by the ruckus.
Actually now that I think about it, shouldn’t that unicorn be stabled with the other horses like they did in Neese instead of eating those expensively maintained gardens, which I’m sure were never intended as unicorn fodder.
Still want to know what Peony stepped in. Disintegrating metal? In what looked like a discarded bra? I’d be determined to get that s!!t off my foot before I’d be in the mood for anything else.
Judgy Horse is judging you!
A Horse is a Horse
Well, the next heir to the throne has to come from somewhere.
That Unicorn really don’t like harlots, makes you wonder how he would react to a unicorn mare in heat, him being a stallion and all.
Yeeah, traditional Unicorns preferred virgins… to mate with. Sex and the having thereof was clearly not going to be an issue in principle.
@rphb Now that isn’t very nice. A harlot would be charging for her services, Peonie just gives them away. S!!t or tramp would apply, but let’s not insult the working girls of the Grand Luminary Alliance!
@ rphb
Flashback to 2007:
http://www.exiern.com/2007/04/19/tee-totalling/
Why does Peonies’ room overlook a courtyard where anyone can see her on her bed?
Am I the only one that feels that the unicorn looking so much like Typh actually means something?
@jmucchiello: That’s Typh’s room. Teresa is currently using Peonie’s quarters.
Unicorn says ‘neigh’ to voyeurism.
If Peonie is using Tiff’s room, the unicorn may think it’s seeing Tiff in the throes of passion.
Would the unicorn even know whose room is whose?
Also, why doesn’t he have a name yet?
The unicorn’s keeping its cards close to its chest about its name in order to cultivate an aura of mystery.
You’d think being a unicorn would be enough but no ….
My guess is that unicorns are just prudes in general, and that it would be likely to react to anyone having sex in the same way.
My guess is that The Unicorn (Who needs a name when you are The Unicorn?) meets Tiff on her way back from the armory.
Why TU is so averse to Peonie’s sexual activity, I have no idea. Maybe the wantoness of it?
Huh. I’ve been thinking The Unicorn was male. But in /2007/06/01/dragon-attack/ Tiff says, “Get out of here girl”. She’s either talking to herself, or to the unicorn. And since she isn’t, at that point, used to thinking of herself as a girl….
===
Incidentally, waaayyy back here /2005/09/24/bad-day-for-evil/ , Faden reads from his spell book that unicorns, being the embodiment of love and innocence, can block all “hostile magics” within their vicinity.
Two points: gosh, doesn’t that mean that Tiff’s transformation isn’t, since she can ride the unicorn without being transformed back? (Or, possibly, that the transformation isn’t “magic” in some sense.)
Second: Maybe the unicorn isn’t upset by Peonie’s behavior. Maybe she’s upset by Peonie’s lover–who may not be a lover at all, but some schemer using her to gain influence in the Court. And Uni can somehow sense that hostile magic is at work there.
Dang, proof read that post twice, and still missed that I left out “hostile magic” after “Tiff’s transformation”.
My two speculations combined lead, of course, to Tiffany coming out of the armory and being met by an angry Unicorn whining and pawing the ground:
“What’s that, girl? You say Peonie’s in trouble? Has she fallen down the well–oh! Oh no! She’s having sex with some evildoer! Take me to her! We’ll save her!”
…Wait. Peonie was still a virgin!?
Ha ha ha … no.
http://www.exiern.com/2012/09/04/lifes-little-ironies/
(Epic trolling by Typh, definitely one for the highlight reel.)
Ooh, yeah.
For a guy, Typh sure does know how to turn on the Happy Girl smile, doesn’t she?
One of my all time favorites.
@Brandi
the sin is in the act of fornication itself, whether or not one charges for the act is irrelevant and if anything the professional have committed a lesser sin as she have a better excuse (for profit) instead of her just doing it because she enjoys to sin.
@50sRefugee, actually, the unicorn has repeatedly proven to be not overly fond of Peonie in the first place. For all we know it may just be a case of cattiness on the unicorn’s part. “Humph! That… hussy!”
@Shan I doubt either the groundskeepers or stablehands are all that eager to confront a magical equine that can give fatal headbutts.
Actually I was thinking that since it’s Typh’s steed, Typh’s the one responsible for parking it in the stables like how it was done in the north which seemingly passed without incident. So if anything happens, it may well turn out to be Typh’s fault for not doing so.
It’s nice to see Peonie getting some recreational relaxation exercise Finally.
The Unicorn has prejudices. No big deal IMHO.
I have prejudices.
I am prejudiced against censorship, data miners, data mining in general, unnecessary background scripts and Dial-up connections.
Although without the last one I wouldn’t be here to whine so …. that one I will suffer through.
Meanwhile … Scott … Please email me as I need to alert you to a problem with Patreon. (Or maybe it’s my dial-up connection.)
@capn – Based on our email exchanges I honestly believe it is an issue caused by your connection, but I have gone ahead and reached out to Patreon on your behalf! I hope they contact you soon!
Thank You Scott.
I will keep my eye open for an email from them.
keep drawing,
capn
@ 50srefugee…Tiff’s transformation was a result of White Magic, “which, as we all know, is completely harmless….unless you use ENOUGH of it!” *zap!* And Faden has/had a LOT of power to throw into any magic, even White. Therefore, the unicorn can’t nullify it, as the base magic itself is generally “good”. It’s kind of like someone going on a killing spree strangling people with gauze and bandages…nobody’s going to be up in arms trying to ban medical supplies. Or….something else that makes a better analogy.
No need to be self-deprecating, @Andor—the bandage killer is an excellent analogue. Very creative.
There’s lots of better stuff to kill people with in hospitals than either gauze or bandages. I’ve worked in enough of them to know.
As have I, @Shan, but that’s a digression. @Andor’s point was that no one would call for the destruction of materials usually considered harmless just because one inventive psychopath finds a way to turn the innocuous deadly. The closest real-world analogue I can think of is the Boston Strangler, who killed with stockings, neck ties, and belts.
I’ll just say that I wasn’t being serious and I was just making a joke and leave it at that as well as stating emphatically I’ve never ever killed someone inside or outside a hospital with medical supplies or equipment … well as far as I know.
He’s just envious.
The Unicarn has to be Virtuous SOMEHOW