“It’s never ok to hit a woman.”

So a little while back there was this whole Chris Brown / Rihanna domestic abuse thing. And during that time a lady from one of the groups that endeavors to stop domestic abuse got on the radio and said; “Men have to learn that it’s never ok to hit a woman”.

Now I am all for these group that take care of some of the most vulnerable members of our society. They do good work and I donate to them ever Christmas. But still, hold the phone here; “It’s never ok to hit a woman”. This statement just seemed a bit off to me.

I mean what if the woman had a gun? Is it ok then? She’s clearly got the advantage there. Or a sword or even an aluminum baseball bat for that matter? What level of arming makes the playing field equal? What if the woman was a blackbelt and extreme fighting champion? It just seems odd to me to claim it is never ok to hit a woman. It puts women in a roll of perpetual victim, unable to do anything proactive to defend themselves.

On the same program the advocate when on to say “there is never a good justification for violence against women” and again I did a double take. Never? That doesn’t seem right. What if she was a muslem teroist and planning to set off a bomb to destroy Washington DC… well maybe not DC but a place people liked? Isn’t it justified to hit a woman then? Or even on the more mundane level isn’t there things that a woman can do in a relationship that are so horrible that hitting might be an appropriate response?

And again this statement seems to put the woman in a inferior roll where she is not responsible for her actions. If I went into a biker bar and found the biggest guy in there and said “you have no dick” to him. I would be beaten to an inch of my life and everyone would say to me “Why the hell did you do that. Of course he’s going to beat you up. It was his right.” But put a woman in the same situation and it’s wrong for the biker to hit her even thought biker out matches both me and this theoretical woman in terms of strength and fighting skill.

And yet when I think about it, the image of the biker beating on the woman is gut-wrenching where the biker beating on me is a little funny. There is a primitive instinctual level to this debate something coded into our very DNA. Logically there are probably many times when it is “ok to hit a woman” but emotionally our instincts tell us that we can not do that. Is it ok to eat babies? Our instincts say NO! Is it ok touch our eyeballs? Our instincts say NO! Is it ok to hit a woman? Our instincts say NO!

So that brings us to today’s Exiern. Peonie tied Tiffany to a alter and had a bunch of priest experiment on her. That is a situation where I would say it is justified to hit someone. And yet, it just seems wrong to hit Peonie for any reason. So I split the difference. I had Tiffany hit Peonie but I did not show the strike. I have made jokes about it being ok for Tiffany to hit women because she is a woman but honestly it still felt like abuse to show her hitting Peonie. The strange thing is Peonie has hit Tiffany and that seemed perfectly ok. I don’t know if that is because we think of Tiffany as a fighter or we still on some level remember that she used to be a man.