Exiern
Swords, Sorcery, And Then Some!
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Exiern Producers
Greg Baker
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Hey look it is a Street Shark villain. Oh and first.
And here I thought “Beware of sharks” was only needed on beaches.
Bulettes!! I remember them fondly, will there be Owl Bears too? Oooh, with all that armour protecting their modesty, this party could be in real trouble if a Rust Monster is rolled up.
Candygram.
Sharktopussy?!
That’s a _land_ sharktoppussy.
BTW, not really a bulette, as bulettes have thick, stumpy legs. This seems to have tentacles. These are clearly land sharktopusses.
how do you out do a land sharkopuss in the danger scale !
@deanatay, you’re right. Exiern is more Gamma World than DnD. Hey, Exiern is Earth “After the End”…it all makes sense (when you are as drunk as I am right now).
I have eaten great white,,,Now I am so hungry!
Is no one else noticing the cloud formations in the first panel?
Judging by the lack of reaction to both the fin in the road and presumably loud border post destruction, landsharktopuses are relatively weak in a fight, with a taste for buildings rather than horses.
Alternatively, the above applies to normal landsharks.
The specimen seen today is the very rare and dangerous landsharktopuss, which also has a taste for buildings. After easily disposing of the two guards, it will proceed to attack all other borderposts (which seem to be rather unfortified and undermanned for the border to a culture known to be rather raid-y).
This loss of contact with the northern border will be blamed on barbarians, causing the King to order a retaliatory strike. When this occurs, the barbarians will be rather suspicious of the recently arrived and heavily armed southerners.
Through some series of events, either Typhan-knee, Denver, or royal-guard-whose-name-I-can’t-remember-at-the-moment will end up fighting the chief of the tribe, win, and get leadership of the tribe.
This will make them friendly towards the kingdom, while surrounded by newly hostile tribes, who view them as weak since they lost to puny southerners/a bookworm.
Urtica gains new allies and a foothold in the north, for either a bulwark, or potential expansion.
Just as planned.
That last half might have gotten away from me slightly
Land sharks??
Land sharks SNL: http://www.spike.com/video-clips/gytf2i/land-shark
“which seem to be rather unfortified and undermanned for the border to a culture known to be rather raid-y”
actually, no I think it makes sense. This is the first line of defense, a small scout post. If it stays up, you are at peace with barbarians, if it is destroyed, you are at war, and each side raids the other across the no-mans land.
It must be hell to watch over that border.
@RAIV, I’d say think North / South Korean DMZ.
Cool Land Sharks
Someones been watching the movie Sharktapuss.
@ David. Security theatre, it is a universal constant. That outpost might do sod all, but I bet everyone feels better knowing it is there. The guards are the Thin Red(shirt) Line.
This comic made me laugh out loud. Just that first panel is all we needed with the sign warning of sharks.
The land sharktopuss is awesome, and great work by the artist. I so totally have to do this to my DND players.
@Khamya if you really want to torture your DnD group, make ’em play a 1st or 2nd edition Gamma World campaign. Guaranteed to reduce even the most hardened RPer to tears.
See now THAT is what Jaws should of looked like.
@Hornet I mean, being stationed in a land with land sharks that spring from under your feet without warning?? Gimme the DMZ any time! I currently live in Seoul, only a stone throw’s away from the DMZ, and though North Korea sometimes gets cocky the place is usually quiet. And you always have the chance to fire back, while you can’t bite a shark back. 😉
@crypticmirror – I’ve actually done that as a DM. The bad-guy was dabbling in cross dimensional sorcery and had brought some stuff over that he shouldn’t have. Had a fighter in that group that picked up one hell of a weapon, but he didn’t have the INT level to understand it and so he threw it away. Poor bugger! 😀
Heheh, I hope you told him, once it was too late to use it. That look of anguished frustration on their faces is the best part of DM-ing.
not even going to help? Neils?
@crypticmirror – Of course!! The only one better was later when he swigged down a gender-bending potion and failed to Save vs. Poison. I had fun with that run of characters!!! ;-D
I don’t think they’re tenticles, its more like a graboid(not the tongues) where thats how it burrows.
“This is where it gets more dangerous.”
There, corrected it for her.
Falling coconuts are considered more dangerous than LandSharks