<!– Global site tag (gtag.js) – Google Analytics –>
<script async src=”https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtag/js?id=UA-22856846-2″></script>
<script>
window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || [];
function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);}
gtag(‘js’, new Date());
gtag(‘config’, ‘UA-22856846-2’);
</script>
<!– Global site tag (gtag.js) – Google Analytics –>
<script async src=”https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtag/js?id=UA-22856846-7″></script>
<script>
window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || [];
function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);}
gtag(‘js’, new Date());
Starting February 1st ALL new Exiern pages will post ONLY to Exiern.com and Our Patreon. Please read and support us there!
Swords, Sorcery, And Then Some!
Howdy, New Readers! Thanks for reading Exiern!
Written by Scott T. Hicken with art by Antipus, the comic updates Mondays. Please check out the Archive to enjoy the earlier adventures of Typh and Peonie!
Exiern contains mature themes and is best for readers 18+.
A hero whose life was irrevocably changed inadvertently caught up in a crime fighting mission against numerous criminals that takes them far away from home? The Law of Poe clearly applies here, obviously.
I think you’re putting the cartography before horse (or pointy horse shaped substitute) in asking that question. All will be relieved in due course, I’m sure.
Oh yeah, do understand that it’s more than likely not the cartographer (that was just what Princess P-cups called him), butt the question still stands (doesn’t have to relate to this situation, just in general)
It’s possible, however, that cartography is not the same in their world as in ours.
It seems like a very strange assertion to make, especially considering that they were told there were no other prisoners on board. Perhaps there exists “Cartogra-mancy” of some sort? But it often causes the wielder to go mad!
That’s legitimately the only reason I could think of for why a cartographer would be tied up and gagged, in the brig of a ship (where Typh is the only prisoner)
I wouldn’t be so sure of that. We’ve seen lots of evidence of going from basically not knowing how to read to not only learning but unfortunate consequences for people who took advantage of their prior illiteracy.
Along the way, we do at least know learning how to say large words had become possible during one scene just before they went up north once upon a time.
Typh can read. As I recall, he punched Peonie in the boob for not informing him that the shirt he got (during the Faden years, which the mage interpreted as Typh “taking on all comers”) was not a battle shirt at all, based on reading it later.
Peonie also suggested a book for Typh to read to pass the time, and it didn’t seem to be in a chiding way (nor did Typh take it that way) which implies that Typh can read, at the very least, simple books.
The level of literacy isn’t fully known, however. And seeing as how the frozen North barbarian tribes probably don’t have much use for dedicated map-makers… It makes sense that Typh wouldn’t know what a cartographer does. He may have heard the word before, or read it, but that doesn’t mean that it’s got any relevance to him.
Likewise, when I ask someone what their replica sword is from, and they respond “It’s Longclaw” I would end up responding that “that doesn’t mean anything to me” to which they would respond, “It’s from Game of Thrones.” and THEN I would get it.
Maybe he’s seen things that no-one can and stay sane, hence it’s for our own good and protection that he’s locked up like this.
“The case,” he said, “is now immaterial, but there was a witness … a witness … a man called … called Prak. A strange and difficult man. They were eventually forced to administer a drug to make him tell the truth, a truth drug.”
His eyes rolled helplessly in his head.
“They gave him too much,” he said in a tiny whimper. “They gave him much too much.” He started to cry. “I thing the robots must have jogged the surgeon’s arm.”
“Robots?” said Zaphod sharply. “What robots?”
“Some white robots,” whispered the man hoarsely, “broke into the courtroom and stole the judge’s sceptre, the Argabuthon Sceptre of Justice, nasty Perspex thing. I don’t know why they wanted it.” He began to cry again. “And I think they jogged the surgeon’s arm …”
He shook his head loosely from side to side, helplessly, sadly, his eyes screwed up in pain.
“And when the trial continued,” he said in a weeping whisper, “they asked Prak a most unfortunate thing. They asked him,” he paused and shivered, “to tell the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth. Only, don’t you see?”
He suddenly hoisted himself up on to his elbows again and shouted at them.
“They’d given him much too much of the drug!”
He collapsed again, moaning quietly. “Much too much too much too much too …”
The group gathered round his bedside glanced at each other. there were goose pimples on backs.
“What happened?” said Zaphod at last.
“Oh, he told it all right,” said the man savagely, “for all I know he’s still telling it now. Strange, terrible things … terrible, terrible!” he screamed.
They tried to calm him, but he struggled to his elbows again.
“Terrible things, incomprehensible things,” he shouted, “things that would drive a man mad!”
He stared wildly at them.
“Or in my case,” he said, “half-mad. I’m a journalist.”
“You mean,” said Arthur quietly, “that you are used to confronting the truth?”
“No,” said the man with a puzzled frown. “I mean that I made an excuse and left early.”
He collapsed into a coma from which he recovered only once and briefly.
On that one occasion, they discovered from him the following:
When it became clear that Prak could not be stopped, that here was truth in its absolute and final form, the court was cleared.
Not only cleared, it was sealed up, with Prak still in it. Steel walls were erected around it, and, just to be on the safe side, barbed wire, electric fences, crocodile swamps and three major armies were installed, so that no one would ever have to hear Prak speak.
Be a Producer!Your name/title with an optional SFW hyperlink will be posted prominently HERE following the close of the month! You’ll also receive monthly mailings from Exiern’s author, Scott T. Hicken!
At least Typhan-knee will have some to do staring contest with at least.
I am Surprised Peoni doesn’t see that mysterious prisoner as a danger though.
Exiern turned into Con Air so slowly, I almost didn’t notice.
Is Typh Grissom, Poe or Larkin? o_O
A hero whose life was irrevocably changed inadvertently caught up in a crime fighting mission against numerous criminals that takes them far away from home? The Law of Poe clearly applies here, obviously.
Heh heh, just checking 😀
And being a smart-arse 😛
Yes, I couldn’t see how Typh was Cyrus the Virus in this scenario to be honest.
What sort of cartography requires the cartographer to be bound in the brig? o_O
I think you’re putting the cartography before horse (or pointy horse shaped substitute) in asking that question. All will be relieved in due course, I’m sure.
Oh yeah, do understand that it’s more than likely not the cartographer (that was just what Princess P-cups called him), butt the question still stands (doesn’t have to relate to this situation, just in general)
It’s possible, however, that cartography is not the same in their world as in ours.
It seems like a very strange assertion to make, especially considering that they were told there were no other prisoners on board. Perhaps there exists “Cartogra-mancy” of some sort? But it often causes the wielder to go mad!
That’s legitimately the only reason I could think of for why a cartographer would be tied up and gagged, in the brig of a ship (where Typh is the only prisoner)
Of course, Tiff doesn’t know what the word ‘cartographer’ means.
I wouldn’t be so sure of that. We’ve seen lots of evidence of going from basically not knowing how to read to not only learning but unfortunate consequences for people who took advantage of their prior illiteracy.
Along the way, we do at least know learning how to say large words had become possible during one scene just before they went up north once upon a time.
She may not be able to read (well, probably does now), butt that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what a cartographer is or does
Typh can read. As I recall, he punched Peonie in the boob for not informing him that the shirt he got (during the Faden years, which the mage interpreted as Typh “taking on all comers”) was not a battle shirt at all, based on reading it later.
Peonie also suggested a book for Typh to read to pass the time, and it didn’t seem to be in a chiding way (nor did Typh take it that way) which implies that Typh can read, at the very least, simple books.
The level of literacy isn’t fully known, however. And seeing as how the frozen North barbarian tribes probably don’t have much use for dedicated map-makers… It makes sense that Typh wouldn’t know what a cartographer does. He may have heard the word before, or read it, but that doesn’t mean that it’s got any relevance to him.
Likewise, when I ask someone what their replica sword is from, and they respond “It’s Longclaw” I would end up responding that “that doesn’t mean anything to me” to which they would respond, “It’s from Game of Thrones.” and THEN I would get it.
Are you willing to risk a punch in the boob to find out?
From Typh? Any time 😉
Typhan-knee learned how to read ages ago actually.
perhaps his is a savage science, one where charts are painstakingly inscribed with blows and bites across a bloody, abraded medium…
Maybe he’s seen things that no-one can and stay sane, hence it’s for our own good and protection that he’s locked up like this.
“The case,” he said, “is now immaterial, but there was a witness … a witness … a man called … called Prak. A strange and difficult man. They were eventually forced to administer a drug to make him tell the truth, a truth drug.”
His eyes rolled helplessly in his head.
“They gave him too much,” he said in a tiny whimper. “They gave him much too much.” He started to cry. “I thing the robots must have jogged the surgeon’s arm.”
“Robots?” said Zaphod sharply. “What robots?”
“Some white robots,” whispered the man hoarsely, “broke into the courtroom and stole the judge’s sceptre, the Argabuthon Sceptre of Justice, nasty Perspex thing. I don’t know why they wanted it.” He began to cry again. “And I think they jogged the surgeon’s arm …”
He shook his head loosely from side to side, helplessly, sadly, his eyes screwed up in pain.
“And when the trial continued,” he said in a weeping whisper, “they asked Prak a most unfortunate thing. They asked him,” he paused and shivered, “to tell the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth. Only, don’t you see?”
He suddenly hoisted himself up on to his elbows again and shouted at them.
“They’d given him much too much of the drug!”
He collapsed again, moaning quietly. “Much too much too much too much too …”
The group gathered round his bedside glanced at each other. there were goose pimples on backs.
“What happened?” said Zaphod at last.
“Oh, he told it all right,” said the man savagely, “for all I know he’s still telling it now. Strange, terrible things … terrible, terrible!” he screamed.
They tried to calm him, but he struggled to his elbows again.
“Terrible things, incomprehensible things,” he shouted, “things that would drive a man mad!”
He stared wildly at them.
“Or in my case,” he said, “half-mad. I’m a journalist.”
“You mean,” said Arthur quietly, “that you are used to confronting the truth?”
“No,” said the man with a puzzled frown. “I mean that I made an excuse and left early.”
He collapsed into a coma from which he recovered only once and briefly.
On that one occasion, they discovered from him the following:
When it became clear that Prak could not be stopped, that here was truth in its absolute and final form, the court was cleared.
Not only cleared, it was sealed up, with Prak still in it. Steel walls were erected around it, and, just to be on the safe side, barbed wire, electric fences, crocodile swamps and three major armies were installed, so that no one would ever have to hear Prak speak.
This guy REALLY hates Mercator projections. “Greenland is not that big!”
“Stop it! You’re freaking me out!”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vVX-PrBRtTY
Hey, if it puts us (NZ, not US 😛 ) at the new top, then let the petty idiots who were bullied throughout their schooling (and beyond) have their way
Have never seen a map as portrayed in that episode before