Meeting New Friends
Isolated Dialogue for Translators:
PANEL 1
NIELS: Okay, well, that’s not a thing.
BOHR: Probably because it sounds like you are taking two useful things and making one shitty thing.
NIELS: That is likely why it is not a thing.
PANEL 2:
NIELS: Also, I’d like to point out that the only reason you didn’t kill a bunch of people you shouldn’t have with your the last sword was because it was MAGIC.
TYPH: I’m getting that impulse under control…
NIELS: Yes, but until it IS under control, maybe something a little less instant-killy?
TYPH: No, I want the stabbies!
NIELS: SIGH – Let’s clear our heads over here…
PANEL 3:
TYPH: Fine, yes, maybe I need to be a little less impulsive about handling my impulsiveness.
NIELS: That’s the spirit.
BOHR: May I make a suggestion?
PANEL 4:
BOHR: Have you considered a warhammer? Big blunt business in the front, pointy stab party in the back.
TYPH: So it’s the mullet of hand-to-hand combat weapons.
BOHR: I guess, yes?
TYPH: I suppose hammering Coriander’s privates into paste would have been just as satisfying. MAYBE even more so. Yeah, yeah, I could be into that.
NIELS: That’s, uh, that’s the spirit?
For added alliterative appeal, try “the mullet of mêlée combat”.
“with your the last sword” should probably be “your last sword” (Panel 2)
Hahaha at the suggestion a warhammer would be any less lethal than a sword.
FINALLY, someone in fiction acknowledges that most weapon combinations are completely idiotic.
Heh heh, this is a fun read 😀
War hammers have completely different move sets than swords. She’d have to retrain from the ground up.
I lol’d at this. FIrst Exiern strip I have done so in a while. A welcome return to form. I do hope it lasts.
Where’d you get the idea that war hammers are less lethal than swords? A blow From a war hammer is only less lethal in the sense that it’s more difficult to wield. And as @uhl points out, it’s a different skill set altogether.
On the positive side, if you have the strength to swing it, the war hammer is far more effective against armored opponents.
They didn’t say less lethal they said less instant killy. Although it is possible to make one shot kill with a warhammer it either requires very high strength or a blow to head. For a sword most of the body and head is enough to do an instant kill move. Warhammer is not less lethal it is less instant killy 😛
@Ilikepie, you beat me to it. Yes, if you read Froissart’s Chronicles, you’d know that fully armored men are damned near impossible to kill with a sword. For a sword to be “instant killy” against an armored oppenent, you have to get the point in to the eye slots or through the gussets in the armpit. A war hammer blow to the head, chest, or abdomen is instantly fatal. A war hammer blow to an upper arm or thigh kills in a matter of seconds by crushing the brachial or femoral artery.
It really doesn’t matter what weapon Tiffany starts with, after the first battle, she’ll have her choice of whatever her recently deceased opponents brought to the party.
@Uhl
Which is probably why they are giving that to Typhan-Knee while he takes care of his impulse control.
Warhammers actually are deadlier than swords, since they can easily kill someone in armor.
I kind of want “No, I want the stabbies!” on a shirt
NIELS: Also, I’d like to point out that the only reason you didn’t kill a bunch of people you shouldn’t have with (your) OR (the) last sword was because it was MAGIC.
Yes…. I’m being a grammer demoness.
Back in my SCA days we had a demonstration which showed the effectiveness of several hand combat weapons. The sword, as used in European cultures was more of a hack and slash device. One beats on one’s opponent with the blade part and hope to hack off little pieces of him. The Axe was a chopping tool, again you are hoping to chop off little (or not so little) pieces of the guy you’re fighting. The war hammer qualifies (in police parlance, at least) as a blunt instrument. One wasn’t trying to cut off pieces of the opponent, one was trying to break their bones, leaving a sloshy bag of skin.
The fact that I’ve seen (on a pig carcass) a war hammer break bones protected by armor still impresses me, and would likely also impress anybody who was so hit. The sword didn’t break through the metal, and might have given the pig a bruise. The axe broke through the metal, giving the pig a cut, but the hammer left a dint in the metal and broke bones deep in the skin.
In other words, I rather go up against a sword than a hammer when wielded by a novice.
“someone in fiction acknowledges that most weapon combinations are completely idiot” A Halberd is combination of spear and battle axe and works well…. similarly spears stuck on ends of early guns, I could similarly see a spear tip on end of a crossbow as workable emergency weapon.
Early days of guns, rich people managed to combine a small gun with all sorts of other weapons including swords, hammers and shields.
@greenstalker war hammer is instant killy. And works Better on Armor…I Mean wear do you thing it can hit than will not be as Lethal as a sword !?? >-<
Not Making fun of you but honestly you hit the body they die.. Hit the Leg The Bone shatters they Die. That Looks to be a 15 pound Hammer at Least…If I hit you in the cheat with that… Ummm You die. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=943PLSwbyfY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhknaG9ifbs war hammer is instant killy!
@Other 🙁
@Uhl Not really. Especially when you’re talking about the polehammer in Western Martial Arts, the same guards and move sets apply to the hammer as do the longsword. The weight, balance, and nature of the business end are different, but the technique doesn’t change much at all.
Also, there’s plenty of places to strike someone with a sword that will NOT be instantly fatal, and WMA makes use of that. You’d have to sever a major artery or damage a vital organ for that. And coincidentally, any of the target areas that would be fatal for a sword are ALSO going to be fatal for a hammer, too.
Co-inky-dinky, just watched a video yesterday that showed a modern reproduction warhammer is deadly against modern soft armour (the same armour that is good protection against small arms fire up to a 45 magnum round), so imagine hitting someone in the head with the pointy-end (even someone wearing a helmet…)
Oh, and just want to say, while seeing Typh being carried away over Niels’ shoulder isn’t as satisfying as if he carried Typh by the scruff of their neck (or the seat of their pants), it’s a good image nonetheless 😀
Apologies to everyone who’s comments just got approved, I try to be faster but I have been sick in bed and am catching up.
On a completely unrelated note… I discovered as I posted that I still have admin access to this page. I suspect that was an oversight, or should I be proud of your continued faith in me?
It was not, and has never been, an oversight. 🙂
Oh please, those nuts are so shriveled you’d be lucky to get a droplet after grinding them.
She’s going to get a staff.
Your Right a Staff safe so no way in H@LL… I Great BATTLE AX Would BE COOL! 🙂 Thats More INSTANT KILLY!
Anyone who considers a staff to be ‘safe’ has never seen what an expert truly can do with one
The whole point of dragging Typh away from the pointy stabbies is to lessen the ‘instant killy’ urge
I VOTE BATTLE AX !!!!
jonathan d wint: don’t believe we have met anyone’s mother-in-law, yet >_>
Or a living mother at all for that matter, one not seen briefly in flashback before being killed anyway
I love these Royal guards, lol.
Well, of course when he uses the phrases “business in the front” and “party in the back”, people are going to think “mullet”. Why does he seem so puzzled by Typh’s response? Has he honestly never heard a mullet described that way?
Bring old graphics back! please!