Meet the New Writer
I think it’s time that I finally step forward into the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Greetings, Exiern readers; my name is Thomas Knapp, and I’ll be the poor sap trying to fill Drowemos’s very big shoes moving forward into the next stage of the comic’s story.
I’m not going to pretend that anyone knows me, so do allow me to give you a brief rundown of what I’ve done, and what I plan to do.
I’m fairly new on the writing scene, so I don’t exactly have a burgeoning resume. I have my own website with a list of my own creative writing (http://chemiclord.wordpress.com; don’t worry, this will most likely be the only time I mention it here), and most recently have been working with Fred Gallagher of MegaTokyo fame in producing a series of light novels for his Endgames storyline. A short story previewing that work, “Behind the Masque” can be found on Amazon’s Kindle Store (link here).
Within those samplings (much of the work on my site is available for free), I think readers here can get a reasonable idea as to my style of humor (what there is of it) and storytelling technique.
I started following this webcomic roughly four years ago (back when Studio Boom was doing the art for the webcomic), and I’ve seen several changes in that span. I know change can be scary… I know I myself was wary when the artist was changed, and I’ll readily acknowledge that this change could be even bigger to the story itself. Bear with me, and I hope that I can keep your interest in what will invariably a slightly different direction for the narrative, no matter how much I will try to keep to what has made this story compelling.
So… why Exiern?
The short answer; I think there’s a lot of potential in this story, and I think I can be someone who brings more of it out.
The long answer; I am intrigued by the base premise of the comic. Gender roles and gender identity as they pertain to the physical sexual traits is a concept that society in general is still struggling with today. The perception as opposed to the reality (or if there even is a reality past our perception) is a theme that I think could use a bit more exploration.
Another aspect is the world itself. As of this moment, we’ve seen a very small slice of what is a fairly large setting. I dig world building… it’s the canvas that I love to apply literary paint to. One thing I promise you will see in my tenure as writer is much more of this world, some different cultures and how they do what they do and why they do it.
There are going to be some new elements to the lore. I want to keep what has been revealed largely intact, and that’s going to be my greatest challenge, but there will be some additional pieces that I think will help connect the fragments into a more complete picture. Everything isn’t nearly so simple as it has been presented so far, and that complexity is something I’m going to try to convey.
Yeah, that’s great and all… but what about our T&A?
I’m not going to delude myself into thinking that my “excellent writing” (don’t worry, I’m rolling my eyes just as much as all of you probably are) is all by itself going to attract new readers and that there will be no need for cheesecake. I am quite aware as to what really brings the money to this site.
In seriousness though, mature scenes and sexual situations happen. I’m not a prude that thinks they inherently detract from a story. I won’t promise there will be as much nudity and pin-up material in the comic itself (because there won’t), but it’s going to happen at points where the story calls for it.
Anything else before we click the back button and never come back?
I tend to be a rather quiet person. This quite possibly could be the only post I make in this rant space for as long as I am here. I don’t pretend anyone wants to hear my rambling, and I’m not going to subject anyone to it.
I also welcome criticism; as I possess absolutely no delusions of adequacy, much less greatness. I can’t promise that I’ll always agree with what you are trying to say, but I’m always willing to hear it. I’ve always felt the best ways to learn how to do better is to take what people say, the good and the bad. You can email me at chemiclord@exiern.com to bring up your concerns or feedback. I can’t promise the most prompt of replies… but I will do what I can.
To be honest, I’d started to feel that the nudity was slowly getting more and more frequent and gratuitous of late. I wouldn’t mind a slight (or not so slight) shift of focus toward story and personality.
Then again, my only contribution is to provide a pair of eyes for adverts, so I’m hardly the most profitable part of the readership :).
Speaking of which, it might be an idea to shrink down the images in the RSS feed to give people more incentive to click through to the site for the adverts. I know I don’t always bother.
Welcome aboard, Thomas. I hope you build the story better than the last weeks of “lets take Peony out of the dress for no reason at all”. I mean, if she wanted to escape, rip the skirt is fine. Left the entire dress behid is not.
> it might be an idea to shrink down the images in the RSS feed to give people more incentive to click through to the site for the adverts. I know I don’t always bother.
Please, no. I cancelled a lot of webcomic feeds because they only have a link and no idea of what is behind it. Also, while you are skimming through a big feeds list those “small image and link” tends to be ignored fast. Im sure I am not alone on this thought.
With the RSS you could have a “reduced size” that can be read but doesn’t show the same level of detail. Thus you skim it quickly to read the comic but you click the link to see the full-sized comic.
Welcome aboard, Chemic. 😉
So…I just took a look at the RSS feed and I’m much less interested in forcing people to come to the website and much MORE interested in finding out why it is double posting the comic pages, which I think must be REALLY annoying. I THINK I figured out how to stop the second image from appearing, so we’ll see if it worked. If no images post I’ll undo what I did…I don’t really have an issue with people enjoying EXIERN through the RSS.
CAPITAL LETTERS!!!!
Ahem…sorry.
Welcome aboard! As a writer myself with too much self-consciousness, no self-confidence to tackle a story like this, and only enough bravura to be that annoying grammar Nazi people hate, I greet you. *bows* I look forward to
tearing apart your writingenjoying the new script and unique direction you’ll give us.I’m hopeful for ya. And I’m glad I lost out to somebody who seems to be more of a professional writer than me.
I have a couple of questions.
Is Faden really gone for good, I miss him?
Will we see some more of His majesty being such a suave, sweet talker? I know he is such a limelight stealer, but he’s fantastic.
Hikaro: Professional? I’m just someone who isn’t smart enough to realize I can’t make a decent living doing this.
CrypticMirror: No.
Yes… and even more than that.
I agree with everyone, seriously guys, enough is enough. The nudity is really getting so f!!!!!g stupid it’s sickening. Hell, they’ve actually managed to make a naked women with large breasts unsexy. Please have them Fix this ASAP.
That said, there are a few things I would like to say to you, as the new writer. A bit I said in another recent comment, but its worth repeating.
1. The Nature of Exern. Many readers are concerned with this absurd amount of nudity as of late. Many comic book writers are sophomoric and sexist, and they don’t give a s!!t about the quality of their writing as long as there is “B00BIES”. We’re worried this may continue onward regularly. Exern is more than that, it has heart and intelligence. Now it’s just become f!!!!!g stupid. For example, you’re trying to mind-break the protagonist into this simple minded golddigger. We love the comic duality of a misogynist Barbadian warrior trapped in bimbo’s body. The second you take that away from him, you leave nothing but a unappealing shallow archetype void of any type of real character and you’ve lost sight of both the audience and the joke. Subversion is what makes for great stories and comedy, it’s also what made this comic great. You, as the new writer, must understand this fundamental nature of Exiern. Everything in this world is a deconstructed parody of the standard fantasy setting.
2. World building. Did you watch Game of Thrones? I’ll assume you have. Good wasn’t it? Darkmirage made a great point in his blog a while back. What’s really great about is that even without it’s fantasy trappings, it is still a riveting series. Most fantasy series skate by because their audience often cares much about dragons, princesses, curses, and s!!t, and much less about coherent storyline, well developed characters, and a sense of order to the universe it’s created. However, the really great sci-fi and fantasy stories actually build a world unlike our own, but remember that just though the nature of the world has changed, the nature of humanity has not. This is true about everything from Harry Potter to Mobile Suit Gundam. Understandably, this often results in a political subplots, as politics is the purest form of human nature applied to an epic scale.
I really like the idea of world building. I love the lore of Exern. I personally, love stories where an adventure sets out with a simple goal on a humble quest, and ends up saving the universe. This doesn’t really mesh well unfortunately with the whole subtly of Exern’s world. At the same time, I don’t think the present story works well with it either. Like so many things Exern does, it takes a premise and turns it on it’s head. This isn’t the story of a Barbarian out to save the kingdom, no, it was about everything that happened after he did. I think that presently, having the gang hang around the kingdom has gotten boring. They’re not constantly on the move and the story has been as stagnate as they have been. If you’re going to start world building, getting the gang off their a!s and back on the road is a good place to start.
If you’re going to expand into the universe may I suggest finding out more about The Travelers and The Authority, and if the Beyonders ever found a way to escape (or if they will). If anyone reading this post doesn’t know what I’m referring to, read the large body of text to your right of the comic in this page: http://www.exiern.com/?p=186
3. One again getting back to nudity. Now, while my point here will be regarding how nudity is implemented, the use of other often appealing, but grossly and tastelessly used elements in a story (gore, fore example). You’ve said you want the use of nudity to come naturally, and that is appreciated. I assure you, many members of the audience don’t care about nudity much one way or the other. We however, don’t like it when a scene is framed around showing off, or hiding, a small rarely used part of the character’s body. For a particularly bad example of this, just look at the past few pages. For good examples, well, just turn on HBO. Seriously though, shows like Game of Thrones, Sparticus, Bordwalk Empire and True Blood they’ve got great uses of both Gore and Nudity in a natural, unobtrusive way. The thing is, the fundamental set up for shows like allows this. They have a massive amount of characters, and they are usually in a relationship of some kind, and many have a setting that allows you’d expect a lot of people to be f!!!!!g around in (Gangsters, Vampires, ancient Greece). Likewise, the webcomic http://chimneyspeak.com/ (Very NSFW) has that as well. Brothels, assassins, and a lot of characters in relationships. So all the f!!!!!g and violence is natural. Plus, they’ve all had a consistent tone of violence and sex since the beginning, so it doesn’t feel out of place.
Exern has none of these qualities. From the start, the cast has been small and single, there isn’t much natural justification for nudity, and the tone of the comic hasn’t really included total nudity except in small amounts for comedic purposes. Sexy outfits? Honestly, attempting to throw it in now is really requires a fundamental shift in the storytelling and nature of the comic (otherwise it will just look as out of place and absurd as the past few pages.) What I would recommend is doing what Frank Miller did when he took over Batman, as well as countless other writers have done. Implement an art change. I know it sounds actually like a bad idea, changing so much at one time, but it is actually a very good thing. Changing the art style of a comic allows for a near complete reset of tone in the audience, which the necessary fundamental changes will require. This is because when the art style changes, we don’t feel like we’re reading the same comic as we have been before, and a change of writing style doesn’t feel as out of place. Remember though, that art style is inherently symbolic, and if you’re going to change the art style (Which I STRONGLY recommend) you make it more realistic as you’re obviously going for a more realist writing style.
In addition to changing the writing style, I seriously suggest you start brainstorming scenarios that fit in with the fantasy setting that nudity is cohesive with. For example, harpies, prostitutes, topless barbarians. The key to making all these things fit is to not have the nudity be the obvious main focus. Having them parade around completely naked for pages on end does not work with the setting. As I stated earlier, purposefully trying to hid nudity is just as audience breaking. Text bubbles, leaves, tentacles, and hair (all elements recently used) are really stupid ways of obscuring nudity. Why not just leave them in their underwear for the censored version? It’s really just that easy.
Okay, I’ve really got to move on.
4. Gender and Sexuality. I myself like occasionally watching docs, and reading about issues of sexuality and gender. However, this comic has only dealt with issues regarding gender identity, so throwing sexuality may be pushing the tone, but nothing aforementioned art shift wouldn’t allow for. I don’t really have much to say about this topic, but I will say that this is a great thing. Not only will it actually allow for a more fluid introduction of nudity (les-yay ahoy!), but will also allow for more depth to be added to the characters. Like I said earlier, it’s the duality of Tif’s character that makes him so interesting. Barbarians are boring, so are bimbos. Combine that sense of male superiority with a bimbo-bod and you’ve not only got an interesting character, you’ve got comic gold.
On a note towards the real world, media that covers issues of gender identity and sexuality are a real blessing in the world. There are so many people who need to learn so much more about these topics. Just this afternoon, I was watching a great BBC documentary called Me, My Sex, and I, that talked about issues regarding being Intersex and having ambiguous genitalia, as well as issues faced by their families. One women talking about her child made what I feel was a sad, but stirring point “I almost wished it was cancer, at least some people have heard of cancer.” When our media, fictional or otherwise, talks about issues we don’t as a culture know about, as individuals we gain a better ability to deal with them when faced with them in real life.
5. Humour. This is mostly a last minute note, but really, this comic has been afflicted with some serious Cerberus Syndrome, which is fine, the problem is, it hasn’t gained any depth or realism. It has just became less funny. That’s to bad, because you don’t have to actually loose humour to gain depth. Great writers have often stressed the point of being analytical in fundamental structure. You’ve got to have action beats, drama beats, and comedy beats. The creators of Avatar: The Last Airbender consider that an integral part of what made their series great. In Save the Cat, professional screenwriter Blake Snyder makes a point of how the first half of Act 2 is where all the fun and hijinks should be. Joss Whedon actually makes charts when he is writing.
Honestly, I really feel that this has been the part most missing from recent comics. It isn’t the absurd and stupid use of nudity, it’s the lack of genuine fun. The constant subverting of tropes and cliches. As I’ve said earlier, this is a part of the fundamental nature of the comic. I really hope you bring this essential element back.
6. Keeping in contact with the readership. You said this could be the last time you make a post on this blog. I really can’t stress enough how bad an idea that is. Audience members love it when content creators reach out to them, even when it’s one sided. If you have something you’d like to say, say it, even if it doesn’t have anything to do with Exern. Reaching out to your audience allows you to get a fix for who they actually are, and it allows us to get a fix for who you are. This communication is really necessary for you to make good long term decisions on behalf of the comic. Same goes for you Dan.
Anyway, that’s about all I’ve got to say about this. Hope to hear back from you guys.
PS. Holy s!!t, +1800 words.
Whew. Okay… lemme see here…
1) The concern of the gratuitous nudity has been noted. I’m not going to judge Drowemos’s usage of it; that’s not my place. All I will tell you is that after this particular story arc wraps up, it won’t be nearly as frequent.
2) I have not watched Games of Thrones (as I do not have HBO). I have read the Song of Fire and Ice series, though. Martin gets it; the setting can’t be what carries a story. You need characters that readers can relate to, events that they can feel a part of, and a world they can immerse themselves in. My goal is to do that.
3) Shipeng Lee handles the art… If he feels a shift in style is necessary, that will be his choice, not mine. I’m certainly not going to throw my weight around in an area that I do not have the expertise and knowledge to do so. He’s the man paid to draw, not me.
4) An awful lot of broad brush strokes here. Barbarians CAN be boring. Bimbos CAN be boring. It boils down to having characters (whatever they are typified as) having something that makes you connect with them. You can have the most unique character type ever created, but if they are flat with little development, it will be boring.
I think you might find the direction I take Tiffany interesting, at the very least.
5) I’m really not going to get terribly in detail about the methods I use as I develop stories except to say that I have a closet full of boxes that are stuffed with notes, details, flowcharts, character bios, both from rejected ideas and ones that can use fleshing out. Writing is as much a science as it is an art.
6) Honestly, I don’t think the majority of the readers give one tenth of one s*** of what I have to say about the comic itself, much less any other opinions I have. I’m obviously going to pay attention to feedback, and interact much like I am here, but I don’t think anyone cares about my car breaking down or what I think about the DC reboots. I’m not going to rant or blog about things here. That’s what I have my personal blog for.
Glad to hear from you.
@ Chemiclord: You’re closer to “professional” than I am.
A resounding “NO” vote on changing the art. I like Lee’s art.
I don’t like the entire “Tiff becomes a Stepford Wife” plotline, and hope you’ll find a way to ditch it. Maybe have someone give Tiff a can of spinach?
I like the real Mira(?) (pigtailed redhead teen girl) — I hope she isn’t dead. I like the interplay between Mira and the boy.
I like Denver (an officious nerd who can pull doors off hinges). Hope Tiff and Denver develop further.
Peonie-Tiff-Teresa — my understanding is that Peonie is Crown Princess; if the king dies, Peonie becomes ruler. But these days, Peonie is clearly unfit to rule. In that sense, Tiff (a very grounded, practical person) has been good for Peonie and the kingdom both. (I suspect that the king has figured this out.) The only place where Tiff is not grounded and practical is with respect to her own magical sex change. For that, Teresa is a great teacher (though a most aggravating one). Tiff is helping Peonie become more mature, and Teresa is helping Tiff become more mature.
I kinda like the the Stepford-Tiffany plot. It’s interesting, especially if Tiffany is aware of it, the duality that presses her to either accept it, reject it, or the extreme option of “find a happy medium” is a nicely dramatic and a struggle that goes into her perception of self. Please don’t let the SJ mob make you dump it, please?
As for the nudity. As a woman, it doesn’t do anything for me, but it doesn’t annoy me either. I think Peonie’s t!!s are ridiculously sized, but that it part of the gag for her. She wouldn’t be Peonie without her ditzy, slightly bitchy, slightly immature, personality and her over-inflated chest. In many way’s she is more the universe’s butt-monkey than Tiff is. At least Tiff gets bonafide dramatic threats with serious and deep conflicts. Peonie has to run around naked, while she is attacked by jelly. All I’d say is maybe dial it back a little just so it doesn’t lose the comedy value.
I definitely agree with GrimGhost on the topic of Mira; last we saw (I think; it’s a little hard to be sure with someone else masquerading as her), she was bleeding on the ground, and I hope she got to a healer or something so that we can see her again.
I don’t make many comments so here it goes. First, welcome to Extern, I know that you will do this justice.
Second, I have helped design and assemble period clothing before and I will tell you that it was more likely for Peonie to be running around naked for two reasons. 1) They might have noticed the sound of tearing fabric 2) Some dresses are easier to get out of than to disassemble. That hasn’t always been the gag, but I found it funny in this case,
Personally. I am interested to know if the last few pages were fluff or there was more to this part of the story we will find out later, I have always been a fan of the aside. That being said, I also like the fact that the story is going to have a new direction, as much as this has had some needed development, it does feel stretched a bit. Good Luck, and I give the soap box to the next person. =)
I read Exiern for the story, and not for the titillation (har har). I’ve no real interest in nudity (especially since I’m a heterosexual female, the majority of the nudity in Exiern is of the females, and boobies don’t do much for me) but when it fits in the story, it should be there. Avoiding and/or censoring nudity and sexual situations when they fit in the story is as glaring as having T&A for no other reason than fan service.
I’m interested in seeing where the story goes from here!
I don’t even recognize this comic anymore. And I was the other half that started it LOL.